Monday, April 1, 2013

Consumer Paralysis

Anyone ever get this?  I've been reading- a lot.  Reading leads to questions, which leads to confusion, and terror, and more questions.  

For someone who has lived largely unaware and numb to the things I have been buying and consuming, the awakening process is painful and slow.  How have I lived for so long and not asked? Not wondered about how the food I eat affects my health, or the environment, or developing nations, or animals or...? I'm finding myself frequently overwhelmed and am left wondering "where does one begin when thinking about making large scale changes to the way that one consumes?"

I mean, it started with us being dairy-free because of Toby's allergy.  Then I started reading up more about Veganism, that led to questions about soy, then there's fair-trade and my readings about the treatment of women in developing nations etc etc.  We have started the 'shift' towards Veganism and have chosen to eat Vegan 4/7 nights a week.  But we're only just scratching the surface.

I'm generally paralyzed.  There are too many choices and many of the choices lead to social consequences and political statements I'm not yet sure I want to make.  I want to experience more energy, better health, and more awareness about the food choices I am making for my family.  But that doesn't mean I want to arrive at everyone's house with my own Tupperware and make the people we're visiting feel criticized or uneducated about their  food choices.  I want to think more about the reality for most women around the world, and how the everyday choices I make in what I consume affects their livelihood.  But I don't want to just talk about making a difference, I want to actually make a difference.  

I know, one step at a time.  It's a frightening process though.  As I endeavor in one area, it leads to more questions in other areas.  If I'm going to be more aware of how we are eating and what we are eating, won't that lead to questions about the other products I purchase?  Where I donate?  What I wear?  Etc?  I mean, is it hypocritical to be ethical in one area of my life, but not the others?  I've enjoyed reading this guy's transition to Veganism and he had some of the same questions I do.

Mainly, I'm just paralyzed though.  Or half-hazardously making decisions that are disconnected (with the appearance of being informed, but mostly just random).

I feel proud of how far we've already come, but I also feel the weight of all the decisions we've left un-made about many areas of our life.  Where do you research?  Where is the tipping point for when knowledge leads to actual change in habits and behaviors?

I have to say, one of the best choices I've made of late was stopping buying coffee at Starbucks.  In every way possible, it is achieving its purpose.  Not only am I thinking, reading about, and praying for women in other nations on a much more regular basis, but I actually feel the burn of muscles growing and stretching.  

Muscles of self-control, of discomfort, of self-deprivation for the benefit of others.  It's not easy at all, even though such a peripheral decision should be.  Maybe that just reveals how entitled I have convinced myself I am, how selfish, or how caught up in this culture of "deserve" and "more."

When I have a 14 hour work day and I just want to ease the longevity, I struggle with this decision.  "Oh Shannon, don't be legalistic" I tell myself.  But then, the money is already spoken for with IJM.  There's no money left in our budget for 5 dollar coffees.  Then I stop and think about some of the stories I am reading in Half the Sky and think to myself, "I have a home, a loving husband, a peaceful country, good health, children, and riches beyond what many women in this world could ever dream of having.  Instead many are impoverished, gang raped, prostituted, sold, enslaved, and I really am going to keep money from them, so that I can have a coffee?"  

Yeah.  I know.  Guilt shouldn't be the motivator, and I know it's a small change, but it's opening my eyes in big ways.  Praise God.

What do you do with the paralysis of myriads of choices in what and how you consume?  

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